The Tropic Of Never, A Book In Three Parts

You know that feeling when you’ve worked on something for a really long time, and you release it into the world? It’s wonderful and terrifying. Those are the feelings I get when I announce the release of my first book, The Tropic Of Never. It wasn’t a difficult birth, but the conception was less than auspicious: Continue reading

The Date With Myself

"Date Night" (from l to r, Michael James Schneider, Michael James Schneider; manipulation by Tucker Cullinan)

“Date Night” (from l to r, Michael James Schneider, Michael James Schneider; manipulation by Tucker Cullinan)

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Fifth in a series. Here’s Part 1, about how I’m using a hookup app to find husband material, here’s Part 2, where I learn a life lesson from my worst date ever, here is Part 3, about realizing I’m only attracted to jerks, and here’s Part 4, where I put forth that age is just a number, until it isn’t.

Self-awareness is a terrifying and wonderful thing. So is self-loathing. One is great for growth and change, and the other is good for…well, it’s good for self-deprecating blog posts. One thing I’ve learned in this last couple years of being single is how to down an entire box of Franzia in one evening that it takes a lot of guts to date. I mean, it’s basically parading your entire, horrible, broken self out there and hoping that someone else loves your sad life and lumpy, misshapen body.

But what happens when it’s one too many rejections? With all the rejection I’ve had these past two years, the real common denominator isn’t that I’m attracted to only jerks (because I’m not anymore), or that I’m into something weird like ButterSports (because I’m not but God that sounds delicious). The universal factor is me. If there’s nothing wrong with the world, maybe there’s something wrong with me. So I took myself on a date, and it went about as well as you could expect. Continue reading

*How To Save Your Own Life, A Webseries

 

from l. to r., Kevin Kauer, Michael James Schneider, Nick Mattos

from l. to r., Kevin Kauer, Michael James Schneider, Nick Mattos

This is how it works: life happens the same as always, day after day. You go to work, you go home, you eat ice cream on the couch and pet your cat, and you lose yourself in the routine. Then, one day, everything falls apart — and things get interesting. Then, things get really interesting. Continue reading

How To Be Creative In One Easy Step

Sina Grace has been busy, but wrote this for BLCKSMTH recently. It’s pretty great:

Sina Grace, by the artist himself

Sina Grace, by the artist himself

There was this six-month period right after college when my friend (and former classmate) and I came to LA with the dreams of being prolific and fantastic writers, just like we were at UC Santa Cruz. In college, I received not only one but TWO awards for my thesis: a novel about a gay wizard detective (I know, right?). One of those awards was for MONEY. I also won a research grant. If life was anything like college, my proactive peers and I believed we were going to make our dreams come true on the reg.

We were in for a Super Fucking Rude Awakening. Continue reading

Happy Valentine’s Cray

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(from l. to r., Michael James Schneider, Ned)

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I’m the single guy who actually, secretly loves Valentine’s Day. Like, to say “I heart it” is an understatement. Who wouldn’t? Spring is just around the corner, couples are walking around hand in hand, and then there’s me. Struggling with my groceries after another day at work, going to my apartment in NE Portland, open the door…and there’s my cat, Ned, mad that I haven’t fed him yet. He’s all the man I need. Probably all the man I can handle. And you know what they say: the first cat is always the gateway cat. Continue reading

February: A Soundtrack

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I just celebrated my first 6 months here in Portland, and (finally) moved into my permanent pad in NE…I can get down to posting more frequently than ONCE A MONTH. I’m finding that there are so many brave, talented artists here it’s scary, and Wayne Bund is no exception. He’s a Portland-based photographer and performance artist who can also host a damn fine party. He braved an 8am call in the freezing cold (I may be losing a toe) to channel his inner Ewok with me in the Forest of Endor Mt. Tabor park, and Tucker Cullinan added a little magic, like he’s expertly done in previous posts.

The force was totally with us.

Mike’s pick: Stepdad, My Leather, My Fur, My Nails  Listening to this is like watching bears at a circus. Nope, the other kind of bears:

(the video is pretty great too) Continue reading

That Horribly Awkward Time I Came Out

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

I wrote a short piece for The Gay Men Project on that really comfortable, easy and natural awkward and uncomfortable time I came out to my parents, back in Ye Olden Tymes of 1991. I also had a photo shoot in one of my favorite places, Tyron Creek Park. Kevin’s a pretty damn talented photographer, to be able to make even me look good. Check out the piece here.